" Right!" Mr Jesson, the Scout Master, bellowed through his electronic megaphone. " Will you please bring your bits and pieces over to the gap in the fence, and the helpers will take it from there...Thanks for your efforts boys and girls, ladies and gentlemen. And don`t forget, we`ve still got two days to make this the best bonfire the town has ever seen!"
Mr Jesson signed off with a shriek of feedback and an amplified click. Then he began to direct the kids from the First Kenniston Scout Group, pointing this way and that in an effort to make sure the bonfire was piled up equally on every side. It was already at least twenty feet tall: a huge wigwam of sticks, planks and boxes built around an old wardrobe that somebody had donated. Several doors stuck out at odd angles from the mass; and about three quarters of the way up was a small armchair, tilted upwards, on which the guy was to sit...
Which particular guy it was to be had not been decided. Mr Jesson had organised a `Guy Of The Year` competition. Anybody could enter. The idea was that you built your guy, went round doing penny-for-the-guy on Friday and Saturday night, then on Sunday afternoon - November fifth - the judging took place. The winning team would get free entry to the bonfire party, plus a token for free hot-dogs and cola.
" Sounds like a good deal," Nige said as he handed over two carrier bags filled with egg cartons.
Bri nodded enthusiastically. " I like the idea of the free hot-dogs, Nige."
" Yeah - and that`s a token for each member of the team, not one between the lot of us."
" Well - " Kevin dumped a pile of newspapers over the picket fence surrounding the bonfire. " Are we going to enter, or what?"
" I`m game," I said. " My Dad was going through some stuff in the attic the other day. He brought down a load of old clothes from the `Seventies - I mean, weird! Bright coloured shirts that look as though they`re all wrinkled up - "
" It`s called seersucker," Anna said. " The material, I mean. It used to be all the rage."
" It`d put me in a rage if I had to wear it...And his trousers, you should see the size of the flares!"
" I think we`re on to something." Nige was rubbing his chin thoughtfully. " If we really made the guy look like it came from the `Seventies, I mean, lots of grown ups were young then. It`ll be a trip down memory lane. What`s it called? Nostalgia. It`ll be nostalgia for them. They`re bound to give us lots of money..."
" If the guy`s good enough," Kev said. " Hey, Anna, you`re a girl - you could do all the sewing and stuff!"
" You mean, while you`re resting in bed with a fat lip?" she said, seriously enough to wipe the smile off Kev`s face. We knew her well enough now to realise she could take a joke. But sometimes one of us would step too far over the line, and Anna would make sure we realised it, every single time.
Nige held up his hands to calm the situation.
" Look, we`ll all do our bit. The Scout Group gets extra money for the new roof on the Scout Hut: we have a good time doing penny-for-the-guy: and if we win we get free fireworks, nosh and pop...So, Steve, you go and fetch your Dad`s flared trousers. I think I can scrounge an old pair of boots - "
" I have a wig we can use," Anna added.
Kev grinned. " The one you`re wearing, you mean?"
" I`ll bring a Guy Fawks mask," Anthony said.
" That just about sorts it. Meet back at HQ with all the stuff in an hour..."
*
" Your father was wondering if I could take the hems in a bit..."
Mum held up the pair of grey checked trousers for me to see. From the expression on her face, I didn`t know if she wanted to laugh or cry. " He got married in these," she said, sort of wistfully, and her gaze drifted off to somewhere far away and long ago.
" Is that why he looks in pain on the wedding photos, Mum?"
" Don`t be cheeky, Stephen. Your Dad was a very handsome young man, I`ll have you know...And if he had a little more hair and a little less tummy, he`d look just as hunky today."
" I suppose you could always take that extra material from the hem and stitch it into the waistband," I said with a smirk. Mum was hardly listening as she delved into the big cardboard box and pulled out the crinkly bright orange shirt I`d seen a few days ago, a rainbow-coloured tanktop, a purple neckerchief and a pair of strange-looking shoes with great thick heels and soles.
" They look like Frankenstein`s boots," I pointed out. Even Mum had to chuckle at that.
" In those days," she told me, " if you had a pair of three-inch platforms, you were the bee`s knees."
" You mean, cool?"
" I mean, red hot. When I first saw your Dad in these, I went all weak and wilting."
" What were you wearing at the time, Mum? Not a pair of those hot pants?"
She blushed, very faintly.
" Was it cool to wear hot pants back then, Mum?" I teased.
" Do you want these trousers or not?" she said snappishly, but still with a smile on her face, and with the slightest gleam of tears in her eyes for all those fond memories.
*
" I think it suits you better than your real hair," Anna said, as Nige pulled on the black curly wig and waggled his head about.
" Yeah yeah man, wow fab groovy baby!" he sang, breaking into a psychedelic dance.
Neil exploded into fits of laughter, which went out of control into a bout of coughing.
I threw the flared trousers across and Nige dragged them on.
" What else have you got? I need a jacket or something..."
" Um, would you believe - " I held out the tank top and Anna`s eyes went wide.
" Wow, Steve, they`re back in fashion now. You mustn`t give that away."
" Well I`m not going to wear it. Do you want it?" I said. Anna`s eyebrows lifted and she nodded enthusiastically.
The door opened and Anthony came in wearing what was supposed to be a Guy Fawks mask.
" It looks like Mr Hughes," Nige hooted. " I suppose it`ll do. Now we have everything we need." He pulled a pair of worn boots from a plastic bag.
" Yes," said Anna, " but we`ve got to make the guy yet. We`ll need straw and old papers to stuff it - and something to use for the head...And if you`re serious about me having that tanktop, Steve, then we`ve still to find a jacket or something to hold all the stuffing in."
" This sounds too much like hard work!" Anthony plumped down on to one of the orange-boxes we used as furniture in the shed. " What could we use as a head - a swede or something?"
" We`ve still got the pumpkin we hollowed-out for trick-or-treating..." Nige pointed to the shrivelling pumpkin head in the corner, its Halloween smile looking a little wrinkled now.
" It`ll look stupid," Kev moaned. " It`s too big for the mask, for one thing...And anyway, what`s the point of going to all this trouble if we can`t do well enough to win?"
" But we`ll still get money from penny-for-the-guy," Anna said reasonably. " It`ll all help towards the Scout Hut roof."
" Who cares about that?" Anthony glared back at her. " I want my free fireworks and hot-dogs."
" We all do," Nige interrupted, " but Anna`s got a point as well. My own opinion is that if we, the Harborough Horrors, are going to get involved in this competition, then we mustn`t let ourselves down with a poor effort. So, there must be some way of making sure we have the best Guy Fawks in the town - one that everybody will remember for years to come...Any ideas?"
I don`t know quite where ideas come from, but an absolutely brilliant one exploded in a burst of silent light inside my head just then. I didn`t say anything right away, as I thought out the details to make sure that everything worked...Then Nige saw the excited, half-secret smile on my face.
" Well?" he said, knowing that look. " Spit it out Steve."
I took a deep breath. " You might think it`s crazy," I began, " but my idea is this..."
After I explained it, there was a long moment of silence, then Bri started up with that great bellowing laugh of his. Kev had a look almost of admiration in his eyes, and Anna was beaming broadly.
Nige nodded, chuckling quietly. " Do you know, I think it`s daft enough to work."
" Yeah," said Anthony, wishing he`d thought of it no doubt, " but who`s going to do it? What about you, Steve? - I dare you..."
Nige stood up, so that his shadow, cast by candlelight, loomed inside the shed.
" Wait a minute, that`s not fair. You can only make a dare when all of us can take part, and when we can double-dare you back...In this case, there`s only one way for us to decide..."
Nige dug in his pocket and pulled out a die.
" OK, Steve is one, Bri, you`re two; Anthony - three, Kev - four, Neil - five. Anna and I will both be six, and if that number comes up we`ll throw again between us. Agreed?"
We all nodded, and I felt that lovely tension come into the air; that special excitement that made me glad I was part of the best gang in the whole world.
Nige cupped the die in his fist, brought it up to his mouth and blew on it, then rolled it out across the floor.
The die rattled along the floorboards, hit the lip of the wooden doorstep and rolled back. We all strained to see.
" It`s a three!" Neil whooped.
We all looked over to the window, where Anthony was standing.
" Nice one, Ant," Nige grinned. " We won`t tell anyone it`s you. Honest."
*
It was one of those slightly misty evenings when the air seemed to smell of metal. Above a thin ground mist, a few bright stars gleamed in the sky. Even though November Fifth was still two days away, somebody was letting off fireworks in one of the back gardens along the Welland Park Road: we heard a rapid crackling, a bang; then a sizzling whoosh and a golden meteor trail, streaming upwards. The rocket popped with a crack into a glittering cascade that trickled sparks slowly back down the sky.
Neil took a good deep sniff.
" Ahhh! I can smell the gunpowder..."
" No, I think it`s Anthony`s wig," Nige said seriously.
We all glanced at the `guy` jammed into the baby buggy. Its plastic face mask jiggled as Anthony spoke up angrily.
" I suppose you think this is funny!"
" You don`t really look much different from normal," Anna told him, without a flicker of a smile. But Kev was grinning like the Cheshire Cat.
" Shall we try out the electronics, gang?"
" Aw, come off it - " Anthony started to struggle out of the buggy, and Bri pushed him back in with his big, square right hand.
" That`s the whole secret of us winning the competition," Nige pointed out.
" You`ve got to do it, Anthony; otherwise you`ll just be sitting there all night like, well, like a stuffed dummy..."
" Same as usual," I said. " Come on Nige, you`ve got the remote..."
Nige pulled the remote unit from his radio controlled model car out of his jacket pocket and flipped on the power.
" Penny for the guy mister!" Nige said brightly to an imaginary pedestrian. " You won`t see another one like this round the town. It sings, it dances - watch this!"
Nige manipulated the direction control on the remote while Anthony went all stiff and puppet-like and then began to do an odd jerky dance with his arms and upper body. Meanwhile, Kev, who was pushing the buggy, reached down and flipped on the red lights that were the mask`s false eyes, and then the portable cassette recorder: a catchy little tune wafted into the cold night air. It had been a hit around the time that dinosaurs ruled the Earth.
" Hey kids, that`s not bad!" Neil said, pretending to be the passer-by. " I haven`t enjoyed myself so much since I was young, back in the `Seventies...Here, take all the money I`ve got. It`s only fifty quid, sorry, I wish I had more!"
He started dancing too - and then we all did, until we fell about in a fit of giggles.
" Well, what do you think?" Nige asked after we`d all calmed down. We wiped the tears from our eyes. Kev patted Anthony, who`d gone all floppy again, on the shoulder.
" That`s brilliant. But hey, Anthony, you`ve got to stay just like that until Nige works the remote. If you move or speak or anything, it`ll spoil the illusion."
" I can`t believe I`m doing this," Anthony grumbled from underneath his mask.
" It`ll be worth it in the end." Nige licked his lips. " Just think of all those free hotdogs!"
*
We fetched our collecting pass from Mr Jesson at the Community College: the Scouts` bonfire party was held in the College`s back field every year. From there it was a short walk across the footbridge to the supermarket car park, and then through to the shopping mall. Quite a lot of people were around, because the supermarket and the catalogue store were still open.
Kev turned on the recorder with the volume low. We all wore our best smiles as Anna held up the official pass and rattled the collecting tin (We`d put some pennies in there already, so it sounded as though we were doing well).
" Penny for the guy, missus," Nige said, as politely as he could, to a lady leaving the supermarket with her trolley. " It sings, it dances...Watch."
He played with the remote and Anthony jigged about to the music, which Kev turned up louder. The woman smiled but hurried on with a slight shake of her head.
" Penny for the guy, sir - "
A man was striding by. He grinned when he saw us, nodded, and dropped a 5p into the tin.
" Yyyesss!" Nige pushed his fist into the air. " It works...I reckon first prize in Mr Jesson`s competition is already ours!"
Actually, we did really well. After an hour in the mall, we tried our luck on the High Street. A couple of cafes, a late-night chemist, and several all-day pubs were open. The street was busy.
We turned the music up louder here, because of the noise from the traffic, which was moving slowly due to the road calming through the middle of the town. We could see the motorists smiling at us as Anthony went through his pantomime. Nige whispered something to Anna, who went to the edge of the pavement and held out the tin to the cars. A passenger wound down her window and dropped in some coins; then a couple more did the same. Then a lorry driver honked his horn as his juggernaut lumbered by: a taxi driver flashed his lights at us: a jogger stopped and said what a great idea he thought this was: a couple going to the theatre stopped and watched our show first, and put what looked like a pound into the tin. A group on their way to The Greyhound all tossed some money our way.
All in all, it was the best penny-for-the-guy we`d ever done.
" I`ve got to go home soon," Anna said about twenty minutes later. It was six thirty and the town was quieter now. Also, the batteries in the cassette player had run down, so that all of the songs from the `Seventies were playing at half speed.
" I suppose we all have," Nige said. He was sniffing the air and looking distracted.
" Look, the chippy`s open. Why don`t we grab some chips, and then we`ll walk you home, Anna. OK?"
" Why don`t you walk me home, Nige?" she asked coyly.
Nige did a tomato.
" Because then I`d be a bigger dummy than Anthony. Anyway, Neil lives up your street, and Kev not far away. It makes sense if we all go. Shall we count up our money first, though," he added, quickly changing the subject.
" Fifteen pounds and sixty-three pence!" Nige said with a mixture of surprise and satisfaction five minutes later. He pushed the lid back on the collecting tin and carefully pressed the paper seal in place with his thumb.
We were standing huddled against the side wall of the fish and chip shop, out of the frosty cold. A plume of warm steam that smelt of cooking oil bloomed above us from the big extractor fan. We were shivering now, all except Anthony who was well huddled up in his outrageous gear and his wig and his mask.
" All right." Nige cupped his hands together and blew briskly through them. " Tell me what you want, give me your cash, and I`ll go in and - "
" Wait a minute," Kev said. " We`ll all go in. It`s freezing out here, and we could do with a bit of a warm too."
" What about me?" Anthony piped up from behind his disguise.
" You can stay put." Nige readjusted the sign that said Penny For The Guy, hand-written on a scrap of cardboard with a black felt pen. He grinned. " Maybe you can earn enough money for us to pay for the chips!"
We piled inside and pretended to take our time choosing from the menu: that was so we could get nice and warm before our chilly walk home.
In the end, we each had a bag of chips and two pies to share. Bri also had a pickled gherkin, which was his favourite food. The chip shop man scooped up some batter scraps for us as well, which were free.
" You look as though you could do with warming up," he said chattily.
Bri, with his mouth full of chips and gherkin, said something muffled in reply.
" We`ve been out collecting for the Scouts` bonfire party," Anna explained, noticing the party poster blu-tacked to the tiled wall.
The chip shop man frowned. " You mean, that strange-looking guy in the baby buggy outside is yours?"
Nige nodded and half glanced around. And I saw his face fall as the chip shop man added, " Then why are those kids running off with it?"
We scrambled out of the shop and ran to the edge of the pavement. The traffic lights had just turned green, and we had to wait for a string of cars to go by before we could give chase.
Whoever had stolen Anthony had a good start: by the time we reached the edge of The Square, which was the centre of the town, the raiders had crossed the supermarket car park and were heading towards the footbridge over the river.
" I`ve got a really bad feeling about this," Nige said between gasps, as he struggled to get his breath back. Kev had run on a short way, but now trotted back to where we were gathered on this side of the car park. He was carrying the Penny For The Guy sign: it had been trampled, and was covered with boot prints.
" Did you see who it was?" Nige asked. Kev shrugged. " Well, I`m not sure, but..."
" It was Stonehead Henderson. I`ll bet on it," Nige said. His face looked pale and tense. " Every year Henderson tries to ruin the Scouts` bonfire party. Do you remember a couple of years ago his gang actually tried to steal the bonfire? They worked half the night, carting wood and stuff from the College field to Henderson`s garden...His mum made him take it back in the end, because she was scared the house would go up as well if he lit it...And then last year he tried to break in to the Scout Hut and nick the fireworks...He`s a real pain."
" So what`s he playing at now?" Kev wanted to know. " He`s a bit late to go collecting pennies for the guy..."
" I reckon he`s taken Anthony for ransom. We only get him back if we hand over the money we`ve collected."
" Well that`s a mean trick," Anna said.
Nige shook his head slowly. " They don`t come any meaner than Stonehead Henderson, believe me..."
Henderson lived on the Welland Park Road, down the bottom end near the Grove Hotel. Nige reckoned that once he and his gang were over the river, they`d cut down the side of the Community College`s playing fields and head for home.
" Couldn`t we take the money out of the tin and fill it with stones, or something?" Anna suggested.
Nige smiled at her. " Spoken like a true Double Darer...But I think Henderson would check before he handed Anthony over to us..."
" Wait a minute - " Kev had been scouting ahead, but now stopped. As we came up level with him he pointed at the ground. " They`ve turned off here, look."
Sure enough, the trail of the buggy and a scatter of footprints pressed into the dewy grass were clearly visible, leading away into the darkness. In the distance and off to the left, the white glow of floodlights from the College`s all-weather pitch was blocked out by the building itself.
" They`re not heading for the College, by the look of things..." Nige was squinting hard to follow the line of the trail. " The footprints go off to the right - "
" To the bottom field," I said.
" Where the bonfire is stacked," Anna said.
The awful truth hit us all at the same time.
" I`d better go and phone for the police," Anna`s voice was a bit choked, " and the fire brigade as well...What will you do?"
" We`ve got to try and stop them. If Henderson sets light to the bonfire, it`ll spoil the party for everyone."
We followed Nige`s lead, and began running across the open field. We didn`t go flat-out, partly to allow Neil and Brian to keep up with us; but also because we didn`t want to arrive out of breath. If there was going to be a fight, we didn`t want to be beaten before we started!
As we jogged together in a group, we began to hear shouts and laughter from up ahead. The towering pile of the bonfire started to loom out of the blackness, as our eyes adjusted to the gloom.
" They`ve gone round the other side," Kev said. Nige nodded grimly.
" So they can`t be seen from the sports field or the College...I hope we reach them in time."
" Before they light the fire?"
" And before they duff up poor old Anthony, Steve. If they haven`t done that already..."
We came up on Henderson`s blind side, using the bonfire as cover. While we squatted low to the ground, Nige crept around just far enough to see what was going on. He came back a few seconds later.
" Henderson`s brother, Clive, has got a box of matches. I think they`re about ready."
" Stupid idiots," Kev hissed. " Don`t they know how dangerous that is!"
Neil said, " What about Anthony?"
" He`s slumped in the buggy. I don`t know whether they`ve really done him over, or what. But I think we`d better move now, before it`s too late."
" What`s the plan?" I asked. " Do we all hide behind Bri?"
Nige`s smile flashed on and off.
" Bri will be useful, but we`ve all got to do our bit. On my signal, Steve - you, Kev and Brian attack round that way: Neil and I will run round the other way."
Neil frowned.
" And then?"
" Your guess is as good as mine," Nige told him.
We took up our positions and waited nervously for a few seconds until Nige gave us the thumbs-up. Then we all broke into a run and started howling at the tops of our voices.
It was like a snapshot had been taken. Henderson and all of his gang were standing there, frozen in surprise, with silly expressions on their faces.
Clive Henderson, who was our age, had an open box of matches in his hands. I leaped towards him and did my best karate kick, knocking the matches flying before he could light any of them.
That broke the spell. A really nasty expression darkened Henderson`s face. He bunched his fists and came at me. So did this other kid.
Neil came in from the side and crashed into the other kid, knocking him over and falling down on top of him, squashing him to the ground. Brian was busy fighting off three other boys who were climbing all over him, and Kev was doing some fancy kung-fu dancing around the group without getting too close to any of them.
I got ready to defend myself. Nige flew at Henderson, who grabbed his arms, swung him round and flipped him over the picket fence into the woodpile. Nige disappeared amidst a crackling of sticks and a small avalanche of boxes.
" You - are - history!" Henderson said as he squared up to me. He was bigger than I was, about three years older, and was known to be one of the hardest kids in the town. I thought about what he`d said, and decided to believe him.
Even so, I wasn`t about to turn around and run. I was one of the Double Dare Gang, and it was all for one and one for all.
So I clenched my fists and dared myself to face up to Henderson without trembling.
In the distance, I heard the shrill whoop-whoop of a police siren. It seemed to give Brian extra strength. With a roar he flung off the kids clinging on to him. Kev tried to kung-fu kick one of them, missed and fell to the ground.
Nige was struggling to free himself from the bonfire, and Neil had now got off the boy who was pressed down into the mud.
Henderson realised he was beaten.
" I`ll get my own back," he spat, glaring at me, and turned to run for it -
That`s when Anthony decided to come to life. He jerked like a robot that had just been switched on, rose slowly out of the buggy with his eyes glowing and came tottering towards Henderson, arms outstretched, going " Whooooooooo!!!"
Henderson let out a thin squeal and stopped dead, giving me time to drop down on all fours behind him. Anthony pushed him flat in the chest, and Stonehead crashed over me on to his back, where he lay there kicking and screaming and crying for his Mam.
*
The police gave the Henderson gang a good telling off for playing with matches and pinching our buggy. But that`s about all they could do. Anthony was the hero of the hour, for keeping his cool and playing possum until the right moment: and Anna was the heroine, for calling the police in time.
Mr Jesson and the First Kenniston Scout Group were delighted that we`d saved their bonfire. And because they were so grateful, we got our free entry to the party, and free hotdogs and coke.
But we didn`t win the competition for the best guy. The panel of judges didn`t think that Anthony was realistic enough.
*
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